Compiled from the lives of fictitious characters from Allison's current translation projects. (Sometimes, you can learn from other people's mistakes. Even other fake people.)
Be careful of promising a girl that you'll get her a new kitten exactly like the one she just had to get put down. It could lead to a marriage proposal.
Don't switch clothes with your best friend at age eight. You'll end up in a convent for life. Until she feels bad, comes to rescue you, and then dies after being hit by a cannon that's snapped loose from its ropes on a ship you're not supposed to be on in the first place. Seriously.
Be wary of women who tell you that you've been brainwashed into forgetting that you were once a wise man atop a camel. She may just be trying to lure you out to the desert in a sandstorm.
If something's too good to be true, it probably is. No, the President cannot sign a decree to turn you into your favorite fictional character.
Don't throw dead people down a dried-up well. They may not be dead. Also, they have friends.
BONUS: Never tickle a sleeping dragon. (As the Doctor says, good ol' JK!)